Forget the Urgency...Coaching is Slow Work

So for the past 8 years I've worked at a frenetic pace. A real sense of urgency... always thinking like a former classroom teacher, but not being in the classroom anymore, so always clearly wanting to demonstrate and provide support as quickly and as efficiently as possible. So... this is a NEW role. It's slow, it's thoughtful, it's not frenetic. I need the PAUSE. So today... I did not pause and I think I completely mishandled a request. Why do I think I must respond to an email request immediately? I did respond in person... but I could have ignored the email til the next day... after all it was after school hours. I have such a hard time changing roles... moving from the re-actor, the doer... to the questioning, reflective, supportive coach that moves slowly and thoughtful. I'm not happy at this point. I'm discouraged at my abilities. I'm believing that I'm a mis-match. I just want to fix what I can fix and empathize with them. AHHH!

But... some positive points of the day.

• helped unpack and prepare document cameras for library cataloging... a step closer to getting them in classrooms (seemed like my old job, but was requested to help with this...)
• saw a snippet of a great manipulative lesson in 4th on concept of value, and changing values (I love learning and watching teachers as a peer...)
• demo-ed a jing (screencast) to the new library media teacher and then helped her produce a tutorial video on Alexandria, the new electronic card catalog program... and then shared Yammer, and invited her to join and encouraged her possibly share her tutorial to the greater learning community of ACPS... and (I noticed tonight) She DID!!
• invited music teacher colleague to Yammer if interested
• gave cool cardboard scraps to art teacher and brainstormed cool possibilities (the best compliment today was when he said to me, "Now you're thinking like an artist!!"
• had discussions on assessing and grouping for math in 2nd grade. I'm pretty sure I just listened here...
• visited familar classrooms only... :(
• offered to support a classroom teacher with garageband during afterschool hours next week, using the small EDEP group as a test run for what possibilities can be used in the classroom. Teacher was very grateful that I would consider the late work. :)
• arranged a QRI assessment for a K student. (this is the request that I bumbled so on...) I offered to take class for teacher to assess... but she wanted an outside assessor. Consulted with Lead on this... this is where it gets hard. Are we working to support teachers or working with kids? Do I want to send the message that I give assessments to children for teachers? Don't I believe that teachers should do their own assessments? of course I do. What's the underlying purpose of the request? Why didn't I ask "what's the purpose of this assessment?" "why do you feel you need to give this assessment?" More thoughts... The assessment? the second opinion from outside? why? who needs to learn more about the child?? I did not ask the purpose questions here. I NEEDED to PAUSE. Brain gets cloudy... I love working with kids... so it gets murky here. End result.... SUPPORT the teachers' needs, especially RIGHT now. First weeks of school are the relationship building time!

I reflected about the day on the drive home. It is such a messy year with so many school-based roles lost and no clear communications across the division. I am on the frontline of this now. People are judging, watching, asking, confused. And I am needing to be slow, thoughtful and influential. On the drive home... I stopped to see a dear friend to just talk in my usual frenetic ADD way. I needed to talk as I was feeling the stress of losing my autonomy in my former job and constantly second guessing everything I say and do now. I'm use to putting out brushfires, use to running urgently to attend to folks. It's just not the same now. But... after the talk and a beer... I feel better about it all. I need to learn to enjoy the slow. And we all need to realize it's messy out there.