Teachers Give...Remember... and Hurt

I returned a while ago from a memorial service for one of my former students. I have been sad all week thinking about her and her family and what it must be like to find your child dead. She was 28 years old. Not the age that you want to think about someone dying. Not that you ever want to think about a loved one dying... but I believe it is easier to accept when one has lived a nice long and full life. I'm sure she's lived a full life, but I tend to think it was shortened by fate, actions or the grace of God. I remember her as a smiling 3rd grader who loved reading. She had strong ideas even as a youngster and she was creative. Her parents were very involved with her life and dedicated themselves almost too much I suppose to their children's lives. Is that possible? Her mom was the PTO president when I started teaching here in ACPS... at Rose Hill Elem. That was the year that 'whole language" was in full swing for me as an educator! I had only 5 years of teaching experience under my belt... and I had no materials. It was an exciting year and the first year where teaching became my love and lifestyle and not just a job. Back to my student... I remember her making a log cabin out of fat pretzels to go with a book that she was reading. I remember the amazing field trip we took to her father's shoe factory in Farmville. How proud she was to show off the factory to her peers. I remember bringing back a shoe last... which I kept in my classroom from then on... it's packed up somewhere now, not sure where. So... yesterday in my sadness...I posted a message to her family on the funeral home guest book, recounting some of these memories. I've only done this online signing twice now. I'm thinking this online drop-in could be very powerful as people from far away can send their love, memories, etc. Words left behind when folks are hurting can be so powerful, and helpful. Again... participate and benefit. Her friends and family are hurting... and I'm hurting because I gave a lot of myself to that third grader, once upon a time. Once a student of mine, always a child of mine. Even if it was just for one year. This is my second student that I've lost to death... that I know of... I remember and hurt, because I gave what I could to them...